On Poop

October 7th, 2009

When I talk to parents, I hear all sorts of interesting things.  Today, I was chatting with a student’s mother…

Mom:  Oh, sweetheart, my son told me that you asked to see some work before he went to the restroom.

Me:  Yes, that’s our policy.

Mom:  And he showed me all of his math work, baby, that he had to do before he went.

Me:  Uh-huh…

Mom:  And sweetheart, I know he has to go to the bathroom every day during your class.

Me:  He does ask often…

Mom:  Because every day, I tell you, since the day he was born, he has to have a bowel movement between 2:30 and 3:00.

Me: …

Mom:  And I know my child, sweetheart, and he just has to go.  But I stand by you if you make him do his work first.

Me:  Well, thank you–I appreciate it.

Mom:  Yes, baby, I stand by you 100%!  But I know my son, and he has a BM every day at that time.

Me:  As long as he gets some work done first…

And sometimes I wonder where my kids get it…

On Growing Up

October 5th, 2009

Though this post has very little to do with teaching or my classroom, I think it has everything to do with what corps members (at least those coming straight out of college) experience.

I have more freedom now than I ever have before in my life.  Until now, my life has been fairly well laid-out–or, at least, there have been strict parameters on what I should (or should not) do.  In high school, there were clear expectations as to the classes that I should take, organizations I should participate in, and what I needed to do in order to prepare for college.  Where there was choice (should I take AP Physics or AP Chemistry?), there were easily numerable options.  In college, there were more options, but again, they were numerable–do I take statistics this semester or next?  Do I take Spanish or Italian to fulfill this credit?  Do I join this sorority or that one?  There was a finite set of majors from which to choose and organizations in which I could participate, and it was reasonably simple to narrow those down into things that would be of interest to me.  Even upon graduation, there were a few clearly preferable options–Teach for America, of course, being chief among them.

Now that the end of the two-year commitment is in sight, I am faced with the dilemma:  What do I do next?  Where do I go from here?  What now?!

So often, people say to me “You could do anything after Teach for America!” (or with such-and-such degree, or with your work ethic, et cetera ad nauseum).  That, I’m afraid, is exactly the problem!  There are now virtually no parameters on my future career/academic plans.  There is nothing that is clearly labeled the “right” choice.  I could do anything anywhere and for any length of time.  The deciding factor in choosing one path over another is, quite simply “because I want to.”

That is a VERY scary concept.  I am more free now than I have ever been before–I am untethered by romantic, familial, career, or academic obligations.  I’ve never been in a position to do whatever I wanted simply because I wanted to.

So for now, the loose plans are to keep teaching (but in a city that is more palatable than Houston), then go to grad school and perhaps become a guidance counselor.  I often feel like I make a better counselor than I do teacher, but I relish the teaching experience that I’m gaining now.

We’ll see.

On War

September 11th, 2009

I have a new favorite game.  Integer War.

 

It’s played like regular War (the card game):  everyone flips a card, the person with the highest card wins, play until someone gets all the cards.  But all the cards represent an integer:  black for positive numbers, red for negative, and all the face cards are taken out.

 

The game seems simple enough, but my 7th graders are ENTHRALLED with it!  Many take it very, very seriously–they like to pretend it’s a game of skill, even though it’s not.  Some hilarious quotes from the day:

 

Before a tiebreaker:  “Oooooh, it’s on like popcorn!  Like popcorn and ranch, boy!”

When a round is lost, regardless of the honesty of the other players:  “They cheatin’!  They cheatin’!!!”

When comparing -2 and -5:  “OH yeah, that’s right!  Would you rather owe 2 or owe 5?  That’s right–owe 2!”  (Negative numbers represent money you owe; positive numbers represent money you have–it helps them compare negative numbers)

Upon winning:  “I took ‘em to the cleaners!  Yeah, I took them to the CLEANERS!”

 

And, of course, there HAS to be an epic battle to end all battles in each class–the winningest players from each table must come together to fight to the death (or the end of the period, whichever comes first).  It’s just so hilarious to see them get SO INTO the game–it almost feels like I’m tricking them into comparing integers.

On Cuteness

August 31st, 2009

When I first learned that i was assigned to the Special Ed section of remedial math, I was a little disappointed–or, more accurately, scared.  I have very little experience with Special Education–the modifications, the IEPs, the ARDs, the other acronyms.  Furthermore, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to reach the students or that they wouldn’t respond to me.

In reality, I couldn’t have been farther from the truth!  My SpEd kids are some of the most endearing:  they’re not in my class because they failed, and they haven’t developed a strong dislike for math.  They haven’t been labeled as “bad” at math (but that doesn’t mean that they remember their times tables…) and many of them listed it as their favorite subject!

We had some time after they finished their diagnostic test last week, so I gave those that finished early some construction paper and markers.  Here is one of their products:

Math is the Best!

Also, the following, produced by E:

E:  Look, Miss, I drew this for you!

Me:  Oh, why thank you, E!  It’s beautiful!!

E:  I drew a bunch of numbers.

Me:  I see that–they’re lovely!

E:  And then I put in some math symbols

Me:  Oh, I see!  You’ve got addition, subtraction, multiplication…

Another student:  What IS that?!

E:  It’s raining math.

Hallelujah, it’s raining math:

It's Raining Math

First Week (v 2.0)

August 30th, 2009

It’s amazing how different teaching is the second time around.  It’s almost like I know what I’m doing.

My classes are structured much differently this year:

  • All 7th graders
  • 3 classes of 20 students or less, for 2 periods at a time
  • I have a co-teacher
    My students are in my class because they either:  are taking the TAKS M(odified) test (and are therefore labeled Special Ed) OR failed the regular (or Accommodated) TAKS test last year.  That means that these babies are LOW.  But they have more time, more teachers, and smaller classes, which will help them be more successful.

    We gave a diagnostic test this week, and I discovered that most of our students are on a 3rd or 4th grade math level.  I have multiple who can barely read or write.  Every day, the achievement gap is staring me right in the face.

On Earrings

August 27th, 2009

It’s the first week of school, so I keep running into old students–sweet seventh graders turning into enormous eigth graders!–in the halls, cafeteria, etc.  Today, I ran into my Posted in Teach For America | No Comments »

On Butts

April 27th, 2009

So I have this kid, right?  He’s a total goofball, but it’s 95% adorable.  A couple weeks ago, he declared “Miss, I’m going to be a pain in the butt this week!”  He can’t even compare to his classmates on the “pain in the butt” scale, but it’s cute to watch him try.

So today, he comes into class, and…

J:  What what in the butt.  I said what what in the butt.  What what in the butt. [Ad nauseum]

Me:  Uh, J, I’m not sure that’s a video you should be watching…

J:  What, Miss?

Me:  That video?  Not really appropriate.

J:  What video?

Me:  What what in the butt?  It’s from a YouTube video.

J:  Oh, really?  My friend was saying it earlier, and I thought it was funny!  What what in the butt!

Me:  Uh…ok.  Can we stop saying it?

J:  WAIT–Teachers are on YouTube?!?

So I may have just introduced J to a video that he did NOT need to find.  (If you, however, have not seen the video in question, it is pretty hilarious…and scandalous.)

I’m thinking that this will turn out one of three ways:  Either he goes home and searches for it and is all “EWW!!  What was Miss talking about?!?!”  OR  his mom notices and is all “What are you watching?!” and then he’s all “My teacher told me about it!!”  OR  he thinks it’s the most hilarious thing EVER and he starts singing it every day.

On Relationships

April 21st, 2009

Fourth period can be the most ridiculous, frustrating, and also hilarious class sometimes.  Lately, they have been very very difficult to quiet down–particularly when we come back from lunch.  Yesterday, the following ensued (before lunch):

D:  Miss, you married?

Me:  Well, am I MISS G, or MRS G?

D:  Miss…

Me:  So no, I’m not married.

C:  OH!  Do you have a boyfriend?

Me:  I don’t see how that’s any of your business.  How’s that Daily Math Review?

D:  Well, are you single?

Me:  Annnnnd that’s not your business, either!  How’s your Daily Math Review?

C:  Ooooh–I heard that Nnnn–that means NO!

Me:  Still not your business!

E: [Whispering to D] No, of course she doesn’t have a boyfriend–she’s always in a bad mood!

Me:  What’s that, E?

E:  Oh!  Uh…nothing!!

Me:  I’m always in a bad mood, therefore I don’t have a boyfriend?

E:  Uh…yeah…  But you are!!

Me:  Oh, really?  Am I in a bad mood now?

E:  No, but after lunch!  You’ll start yelling at us!  You do every day!

Me:  And that has nothing to do with the way y’all act in class?

E:  No!

Me:  Ok, just so I get this straight–It doesn’t annoy me when y’all talk while I’m trying to teach.  The only reason I’m in a bad mood after lunch is because I don’t have a boyfriend.

E:  Yup, pretty much.

This is, by the way, the SECOND time I’ve heard this argument.  Apparently, boyfriends are directly proportional to patience.  I wonder what E would think of me if I really didn’t have a boyfriend!!

On Funnels

March 12th, 2009

Today, after school, I was holding a funnel.  A small, innocent, funnel.

Student:  Oh!  Are we going binge drinking?

Me:  What?

Student:  With the funnel!  Are we binge drinking??  [Grabs funnel, leans back and pretends to binge drink from the funnel]  Isn’t that what you use these for?

Me:  [Trying–and failing–not to laugh]  Well, we were going to use it for a rain gague…

Student:  And THEN go drinking??

Me:  Uh…no.

Student:  Oh, too bad.  I thought you were a partier since you’re so relaxed all the time.

 

Now, one might expect such a conversation from a “bad” student.  But this was a small, nerdy Asian kid–your stereotypical pre-AP student, with glasses and everything!  NOT someone that I’d expect to ask me about boozing.  I’m not even sure how he knows about binge drinking, but it’s definitely the funniest thing that’s happened all week.

On Singers

March 11th, 2009

So the school’s talent show is tomorrow night, and one of my 4th period sweethearts is going to sing.  The other day, the choir director was telling me how great she is.  The following conversation ensued: 

C:  Hey A!  Are you in the talent show?

A is TOTALLY bashful about it…

Me:  Oh yeah!  Mr. J was just telling me the other day how much he likes the song you’re singing!

A:  Really??

Me:  Yeah, he said it’s great!

C:  Yeah, I couldn’t be a singer.  Singers fart all the time.

Me:  What?

C:  Singers fart a lot!  That’s, like, all they do.  And then they burp.  They fart and burp a lot.

 I can only imagine what life experiences led him to believe that.  (C is also sexy binders kid.)

 

Then, in 6th period, I made the announcement that I would be gone for two days after Spring Break.  One girl started asking me about my plans, which led to this:

A:  So Miss, are you going to get a boyfriend over spring break?

Me:  What?  Am I going to go find myself a boyfriend??

A:  Or if you already have one, are you going to get married?

Me:  Uh…

R:  She’s already married!

Me:  What??

R:  Just look at her ring!  [He takes my hand] See?  It’s invisible!

Me:  No, I am not getting married, and no, I am not getting myself a boyfriend.

A:  Oh, ok!

A is a part of my gaggle of girls; they are all curious about my relationship status.  It’s fun to keep them guessing.  R is the one who gets all his advice on women from the school’s police officer.  (That officer, by the way, had NO idea how R got that message from him.)

 

Oh, these children…