brette

So I have this kid, right?  He’s a total goofball, but it’s 95% adorable.  A couple weeks ago, he declared “Miss, I’m going to be a pain in the butt this week!”  He can’t even compare to his classmates on the “pain in the butt” scale, but it’s cute to watch him try.

So today, he comes into class, and…

J:  What what in the butt.  I said what what in the butt.  What what in the butt. [Ad nauseum]

Me:  Uh, J, I’m not sure that’s a video you should be watching…

J:  What, Miss?

Me:  That video?  Not really appropriate.

J:  What video?

Me:  What what in the butt?  It’s from a YouTube video.

J:  Oh, really?  My friend was saying it earlier, and I thought it was funny!  What what in the butt!

Me:  Uh…ok.  Can we stop saying it?

J:  WAIT–Teachers are on YouTube?!?

So I may have just introduced J to a video that he did NOT need to find.  (If you, however, have not seen the video in question, it is pretty hilarious…and scandalous.)

I’m thinking that this will turn out one of three ways:  Either he goes home and searches for it and is all “EWW!!  What was Miss talking about?!?!”  OR  his mom notices and is all “What are you watching?!” and then he’s all “My teacher told me about it!!”  OR  he thinks it’s the most hilarious thing EVER and he starts singing it every day.

Fourth period can be the most ridiculous, frustrating, and also hilarious class sometimes.  Lately, they have been very very difficult to quiet down–particularly when we come back from lunch.  Yesterday, the following ensued (before lunch):

D:  Miss, you married?

Me:  Well, am I MISS G, or MRS G?

D:  Miss…

Me:  So no, I’m not married.

C:  OH!  Do you have a boyfriend?

Me:  I don’t see how that’s any of your business.  How’s that Daily Math Review?

D:  Well, are you single?

Me:  Annnnnd that’s not your business, either!  How’s your Daily Math Review?

C:  Ooooh–I heard that Nnnn–that means NO!

Me:  Still not your business!

E: [Whispering to D] No, of course she doesn’t have a boyfriend–she’s always in a bad mood!

Me:  What’s that, E?

E:  Oh!  Uh…nothing!!

Me:  I’m always in a bad mood, therefore I don’t have a boyfriend?

E:  Uh…yeah…  But you are!!

Me:  Oh, really?  Am I in a bad mood now?

E:  No, but after lunch!  You’ll start yelling at us!  You do every day!

Me:  And that has nothing to do with the way y’all act in class?

E:  No!

Me:  Ok, just so I get this straight–It doesn’t annoy me when y’all talk while I’m trying to teach.  The only reason I’m in a bad mood after lunch is because I don’t have a boyfriend.

E:  Yup, pretty much.

This is, by the way, the SECOND time I’ve heard this argument.  Apparently, boyfriends are directly proportional to patience.  I wonder what E would think of me if I really didn’t have a boyfriend!!